How is it that the behaviors teachers see in school never happen at home? The refusal to work, the outbursts, the inability to hear or see properly, etc. I don’t know why, but I’m still surprised when I hear parents say, “That doesn’t happen at home.” Well, let’s see.
When you don’t put any demands on the children, there’s no opportunity for refusal. If you don’t enforce the rules and let the kids get away with whatever they want you don’t see the outbursts. Now let’s address the issues of hearing and vision.
Why do some parents (in my experience, those from low socio-economic homes) argue with teachers when we have concerns about how their child sees and hears in school? I work with one student in Kindergarten whose mother refused to believe that her son needed glasses. This is even after the teacher sent a note home and after the child failed the vision screening by the school nurse. Finally (it’s now March, mind you, and he’s been missing out on a good many things all school year), she is taking her boy to get glasses this week.
I have another student (first grade) that was in need of glasses for years and years. His mother got them once when he was in preschool. The child never came to school with them. The mother’s reasoning was that she couldn’t get him to keep them on. The real reason was that she didn’t think he needed them. When he was in Pre-K, we convinced her that he needed them-he wore them on and off (mostly off) through that year and part of Kindergarten.
He’s now in first grade and again we had to fight with the mom to get the glasses on his face. He would lose them or break them or refuse to wear them….bull shit. She didn’t want him to wear them because “he doesn’t have trouble seeing at home.” So we told her, “Fine. Get him new glasses and we’ll keep them at school since he only has trouble here.” She finally came around to that and his glasses stay at school. Needless to say, there was an almost immediate improvement in school work and attention. Now for the ears.
Since this child has been in school (3 years old), he has needed hearing aids. His teachers said so. His speech therapist said so. THE DOCTOR THAT TESTED HIS HEARING SAID SO. But the mother fought everyone for because, “he doesn’t have trouble hearing at home.” Finally, she relented and got the aids. By this time, the child is four and in Pre-school.
Being four years old, and a boy, he’s not very responsible or careful; ergo, the hearing aids broke because he would take them out and play with them. The mom took this as the perfect opportunity to not replace them saying, “If he needed them, he’d keep them in his ears.” OMG-What!? The kid was four! You’re the mom! Aaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!
From them on it’s been an uphill battle to get these hearing aids back on his ears. She fought and fought and made every excuse in the book to not follow thorough on anything having to do with them. He failed multiple hearing tests at school; he’s had speech services for years as well as an academic IEP; he continues to do poorly in school and it’s documented that most of the issues stem from his inability to hear. We’ve even gone so far as to threaten reporting her for neglect to the local DSS. This has been a long four years with this problem.
I am ecstatic to report that when he walks in the door today, those hearing aids will be in his ears. He went to the doctor yesterday to get them and he’s quite excited about them, too. Of course, just like with his glasses, they’ll stay in school since he has no problem hearing when he’s at home.
I’m so excited that I could almost cry (and just might when I see them). His life is going to be so much better. He’s going to discover a part of the world he never knew existed. He academics will improve and so will his relationship with his peers. OMG-I feel like a proud mother bird watching her baby grow up and fly away. Big sigh.
